I write to you as a holy man…
But seriously folks, I just want to say how proud of you I am. True, for several years, you were like a paper cut between my fingers but it was only because you got all the attention of the family. And at that time, I was a pudgy, goofy, booger kid with glasses that took up most of my face. You were a cute toddler and I just couldn’t compete. But I got over that though, and finally started to like you (don’t get me wrong, I always loved you, I just had a hard time liking you). You’ve blossomed into a phenomenal young woman (and I use that term loosely—haaaaaaa) and I have no doubts that you will become a phenomenal woman. It’s too early to think about that though, you still have to be my little sister whom I scare and bother from morning till night.
So what advice can I give…
Don’t take anything personally, that’s for certain. People will dump on you and kick you to the ground, but that’s only because they can’t handle themselves or what lives they lead. You can because you’re always going to be better than them. Always. And a little tolerance and understanding go a long way. It’s never too late to learn something. It will make you more worldly and knowledgeable, and that is something that will impress people. You know the old saying “knowledge is power”. That, as corny as it is, holds true. I really don’t want to preach to you. Goodness knows how I hate that, and if you’re anything like me (which you are, HA again) you aren’t a fan either. I tell you these things from experience, as a brother to a sister, and a friend to a friend.
Don’t let the world get you down, because there’s so much to see when you rise above the rest.
I love you little sis, silly little bag of muffins.
[LSV nickname] J ß ha ha ha look what I made!!!
This letter is what led my wife to her revelation that I may have been the scapegoat for my mother. The whole first paragraph I'm telling her how much I didn't like her and that she got all the attention and I couldn't "compete" with a cute toddler. I put myself down but still managed to point out that loving someone is not the same as liking them, in that I loved my sister, but that didn't necessitate me liking her. This was a strange line for me to read because when it came to other relationships I was all about the idea that loving someone meant you A L W A Y S liked them. I held this idea when it came to most of my romantic relationships. I think that's an important piece of conditional love too, which is what I was subjected to, so it's not really a great surprise as I look now, that I had the equation, LOVE = ALWAYS LIKE.
The second paragraph, the "advice" section. I think some of what I said is sound: knowledge is power; a little tolerance and understanding is a good thing. However, my wife picked up on something that was more truly telling -- that knowledge, while also giving the wielder power, will also impress people. Now, why would I say that if I didn't really think that to be true? And wasn't that always what my mother was about - giving people a nice show on the outside, impressing people with...whatever? Yes, that is what she was about and I was feeding that to my sister, another malleable mind. My mother was getting what she wanted, her son to play the part of father/brother/caretaker to feed her daughter with the same poison apple that she fed her son and it's all the more potent because it's coming from a male figure her daughter so highly regards.
Sick sick treacherous game that was.