Friday, August 12, 2011

Gone and Done It

I poked my head in Dr. Coleman's "Hurting Parents" forum, and, well I dug myself in....

Have a look.

I probably shouldn't have stuck my head in like I did, but I just couldn't NOT do that. I felt like I had to stand up for myself and quite possibly the other adult children who've taken similar paths as I have. My saying anything isn't going to resonate with anyone there, but I felt good about it. I felt I was fighting back for myself, against my parents and their poor behaviors, who they are.

I'll say it again: I felt good standing up for myself and my beliefs.

A piece of my life puzzle fell into place...


  1. I read your comments on the forum. Very well said!!

    You are a far braver man than I! I can't even go to "that" place without my blood pressure rising and feeling sick to my stomach. It's too much like dealing with the Dragon. I just don't have it in me, and it is just an exercise in frustration.

  2. Well I noticed several things. One your comment was not taken down. I noticed another comment taken down because it was considered not helpful. I also noticed that the topic you chose was appropriate for the comment you made. I was puzzled by the reply that one person gave about being judgmental. Didn't that person read what the topic was?
    I am impressed. You did stand up for yourself in a less than friendly forum. Congratulations for feeling like a piece of the puzzle dropped into place. I love that feeling after working on a section for a while when the pieces finally fall together. I am glad you had a chance to write and have your comments read.

  3. Despite the futility, I applaud your courage for swimming with the sharks (narcs) without a cage. It's as if we woke up one morning and decided, "Hummm, think I'll just terminate my relationship with my pdparent for shits and giggles."
    The "shits" are the result of a life-time prescription for a Proton Pump Inhibitor (ex: Prilosec) for the burning mess in our GI tracts. (Read the side effects; weep. Spend a part of every AM in the bathroom with said "reading." A pharmacological "double bind" and a metaphor for our IRL experiences with a narc parent. Purchase Huggies by the case even if you're so past the age of having children if anyone asks, you explain they're for your grandchildren....even if you don't have any.)
    Any "giggles" are the gallows sense of humor we develop as a way to cope with the insanity of life with a narc parent. It helps to "balance" the profound and indescribable pain that comes with the recognition of reality: Our "expiration date" was up the first time and at the very moment we said "No" to the narc parent. As an adult. And they threw a tantrum worthy of a 3 yo.
    You're a brave man. You also have a family. So I'm sending you a cyber "shark cage" in the event you decide to "take the plunge" again.
    Yeesch.....yep, we just walked away "for no reason!!!"
    Uh Huh.

  4. Anon- thanks for the cage! Now I just need the expolsive tipped spear and I'm all set! Everything I read there, it's as if all the children decided one day to "disrespect" their parents by not taking anymore of their garbage. It's appalling.

    Ruth- they're hypocrits and walking contradictions.

    Mulder & Judy- Thanks!! Even the infamous Dr. Coleman voiced his opinion!

    NON- while I knew it was an exercise in futility, I felt that I couldn't NOT say something, and I was half-expecting that kind of backlash. It's a huge pity party there, and I don't want to be their party crasher. Not anymore anyway. Ha!

  5. The thread has been removed!
    How sad....