Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Good Idea

My father left me a voicemail on my birthday pleading, "please don't separate yourself from your blood family. It is not a good idea".

To that I say...why?
Being related doesn't necessitate an avenue of communication. I'm realizing that more and more as of late. Thankfully it's not too late.
I am not obliged to remain in contact or associated with people who are destructive to me or my family.  Regardless of what my father believes or what my family of origin believes, those beliefs don't automatically pertain to me simply because he says or they say they do. I have a right to determine for myself what is best for me.

How am I to develop my sense of ... anything really when I'm constantly told what to do and how to behave? The answer is: I can't.


On a very very separate note: I'm very nervous for the future of this country.
Corporations escape taxes.
Millionaires escape taxes.


  1. Bottom line: if you wouldn't tolerate this behaviour from a friend/acquaintance/stranger, why should you tolerate it from "your blood family"?

    I'm also wondering if your father is too stupid to realize your two precious babies are "your blood family"!

  2. Adding my amen to mulderfan's comment.

    As to the state of this country, I pray every day.

  3. Mulderfan, YES! I'm beginning to realize how very unintelligent this man is. It wasn't just the poor grammar in his letters that tipped me off, it was his constant refusal to see the truth, to act wisely, to behave according to reality, rather than some fantasy world. It's so obvious that DH's EF wants him to give up his FOC and go back to does that fit with his notions about blood family?

    You're so right. He's too stupid to realize he has inserted his damn foot in his own damn mouth.

  4. Bottomer Line: my father does not care that I have a family of my own.

  5. I'll see your Bottom Line and raise you!

    Bottom Line: Your father is an asshole!!!

    If my kid found mutual love, then gave me two grandchildren, I'd want to contribute to the joy not set out to destroy it!

  6. I have learned working at a university that intelligence has little to do with behaving like a jerk. I agree with mulderfan. How blessed you are to have a wonderful wife and 2 lovely children. Congratulations on choosing the better part. How sad that your father is forcing you to choose.

  7. Ruth - I see your point. Saying that someone is behaving like a jerk because they are unintelligent may not be accurate. Intelligent people can still behave like assholes. People lacking empathy however, is another story.

    I've always believed that DH's N parents couldn't see the love between us because they didn't want to. If they saw that we love each other, they would have realized long ago that their attempts to destroy us would never work. The fact that they continue to try and destroy us is further evidence that they don't want to see or acknowledge our love for each other...probably because they are incapable of such emotions and want all of DH's love for themselves.

  8. People that are intelligent can certainly be assholes. A former friend of mine is the perfect example.


  9. My late older brother had a PhD in Nuclear Physics and was once in the running for a Nobel Prize...complete asshole!

    Took the brunt of our NF's abuse as a child and then went on to be an even bigger narc than NF. When he died his ex-wife, two daughters and I had moved and lived in fear of him finding us. Nice legacy!