My birthday is coming up this month and here are a few things I just mentioned to my wife that I would like:
Go to Home Depot/Lowes and buy up the first 4 things in the first, middle 2 and last aisles
- Attachments for my Dremel Multi-tool
- An extension tube for my camera
- I like foods like chicken parm
- Help fixing the odds n ends that need fixing in the house
- Adult t-shirts/polos that actually fit me
- New grilling utensils!
This was sort of a joke list however, my wife pointed out that it speaks volumes.
I broke it down for myself:
- Tools: the desire to fix things, be it physical or emotional. I’ve always felt that I could be everyone’s shoulder to lean/cry on and never really allowed myself to lean/cry on someone’s shoulder – I mean how could I if I was the Fixer? I see now that it was I that needed fixing, and I am developing and obtaining the tools I need in order to repair that emotional damage.
- Food: I’ve long associated emotion with food. It was always there when I needed it. Always satisfied me when I needed satisfying. Always provided an alternate route for expressing myself in that I would dive into food instead of diving into myself to separate and analyze what I was feeling. I would use food as a pillow on which to fall, an escape from the horrors of “feeling”. Emotions became synonymous with food, and it’s safe to say that I was indeed eating everything I felt. I was an empty plate.
- Camera accessories: naturally this so I can See clearly and more accurately.
- Love: more specifically, the love I should have received from my parents but never did. This was most certainly a joke when I put this on the list, however, something in me – probably Little Me – told me to put this. I fear I will go through years of my life with this on my list before I remove it.