Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Dreamscape

My dreams of late have been consumed with fierce storms, mainly of the lightning and wind kind, flooding, and dotted with fire and boat catastrophes.

I think I'm trying to tell myself something...

I don't write down many of my dreams, and I should really start doing that. It's a great way to analyze what the unconcious "me" is trying to tell the concious "me". One dream that was so vivid came to me when I was in college and it so disturbed me that I had to write it down. I believe it was 2006, possibly 2005. The date is interesting becuase my grandmother died Oct 2006, so it could be a death dream but I'm not sure. Either way here is what I wrote:

A family boards a plane in the Czech Republic.  It was a 737, with three seats on either side of a singular aisle.  There are blue waters around the airport, bluer than they should be anyway.  The plane taxis to the runway and speeds up to take off.  The boy in the family notices smoke—white—coming from the engine of the plane. He is nervous.  The plane circles the airport several times, nearly hitting land when the engine explodes and rips off part of the wing.  The chunks of metal smash into the tail of the plane, causing more blasts.  People are standing up trying to retrieve their luggage, the oxygen masks are deployed.  Forced to land, the pilots make a rough landing fairly smooth.  Disembarking from the plane, the boy takes pictures of the aftermath: a fiery space where the wing was supposed to be, a charred section of the plane where a hole has formed.  Then, he sees him.  The Grim Reaper walks along side a body that the local emergency services are removing.  It seems like no one can see him, just the boy knows he’s there.  Grim Reaper looks right at the boy, the gray hooded cloak falls around an invisible body.  Only blackness under the hood, only blackness.

I am the boy in the dream if it isn't apparent.

I was witness to a horrific event -- my mother's devastating blow to her son's trust and emotional foundation
I saw 'death' in the form of the Grim Reaper -- I "deadened" myself to emotion and thought altogether

Other thoughts/interpretations?

9 comments:

  1. I can't offer an interpretation, but I've had many dreams in which I'm the only one receiving a horrible revelation about the true nature of someone or something.

    And then we both do find out the creepy thing is real, our parents have NPD, and the cloak is covering black, dark nothingness.

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  2. I found it interesting that people were getting their luggage. This is life and death, and they're worried about luggage. How often do Narcs use the mundane to focus away from what is life and death, so that the attention stays with them or makes them look all right?

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  3. I dreamed of a crushing weight on my body and being unable to breathe. This dream recurred for years but is gone now.

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  4. i've dreamed about my mom or dad actually getting a gun and shooting me. in my mom dream, she held up a gun and said 'i'm doing this for reasons beyond you' (in a really condescending blind tone) and pulled the trigger. in my dad dream, he just had a gun and was waving it around in the frontyard of some house i was in. those were around 1-2 years ago, way before i really knew anything. nowadays, i have bad dreams more about them getting in my face, attacking me, harassing me, condemning me. only sometimes.
    i'm so glad to hear that your dream is gone, mulder. good news for me and you.

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  5. Yeah, there is only the cloak with nothing underneath - that is a narcissist.

    You can now clearly see the situation, survived, and have evidence (the pictures). Her world is fake, yours is the real one. Perhaps it is not pretty, but at least it is real.

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  6. Dream logic is so subjective it's hard to offer an interpretation unless I've walked in your shoes around the time of the dream. I can say that I'm amazed at how detailed your recollection is - it must have been a crazy dream to sleep through. I rarely remember any of my dreams, and the few that I still recall are too fantastical to really attach any meaning to.

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  7. I relate to seeing something nobody else sees. That's the essence of being a child of a narcissist. Cursed-with-sight is what it feels like as a child. Really fantastic imagery.

    upsi

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  8. argh it deleted my comment.
    i once had a dream where my mom shot me and before she did she said "i'm doing this for reasons beyond you."
    i had another dream about my dad running around uncontrollably in the frontyard with a gun.
    pretttty literal.

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  9. Thanks for all your input; I really didn't have too many ideas other than death. Seeing something that other's can't, the luggage when in peril, the nothingness under the cloak. They all relate to the Narc Entity and Seeing.

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