I put my "No Contact" letter in the mail today. It went a little something like this:
You will no longer be allowed access to my family. You have expressed yourself quite clearly about my marriage and my wife. Your behaviors have shown me that you are either unwilling or incapable of change. I am happy and satisfied with my life choices. You need to deal with that. You have taught me tremendously destructive and evil behaviors that I have to fix. I will not forget this. I gave you many chances to treat me as an adult, as a loved one, as a human being. You chose not to. You have not respected me or my family and I will not allow this any more. Do not contact me.
I feel like I just punched my past life right in the kidney. And an elbow drop to the gut.
I am nervous. I expect a barrage of emails and phone calls from the army of narcissists, and part-narcissists, and friends of narcissists that my mother has amassed. I expect my father to be involved which is so incredibly disappointing to me.
This was my point of no return. It was my take the road less traveled moment. I am scared. I feel that I must expect the unexpected and at the same time expect the expected.
Currently, I am too busy being nervous to feel relieved, but I think that's because this step was so totally massive for me. I want to feel free but I'm so trapped in myself to feel that way right now.
OH I'm a mess.